Saturday, March 04, 2006

Fuck You All


Last night, my good mate De-Atrophier and I were just sitting around drinking Bloody Marys by the jug when that dirty whore Inspiration burst through the door and pissed all over the carpet.

"Why don't you two homos start a blog?", she slurred before puking on the coffee table and passing out.

Having nothing better to do and sharing a keen interest in nastydirtymonkeysex and all things queer, we decided to take Inspiration's advice. So for your edification we present Unnatural Acts: the bastard child of The Spin Cycle and De-Atrophication.

We will of course maintain the proud traditions of the Radical Queer Movement that inform our ideas and politics. Militantly atheist, depraved, obscene and irritatingly left wing - we hold nothing sacred. Expect to be informed, educated and, most likely, offended. Post your comments - whatever they may be. Howl with outrage or drool like the sycophantic dogs that you are, we don't care.

We're better than you and we don't mind saying so.

MtD

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you haven't accepted Jesus as your Savior you Will go to hell, whether you are "gay" or not. No, I'm not a Jesus fanatic. I'm just an ordinary wife, mother, person. I'm not rich and I have eaten a lot of Spam in my day. Not because of who the president was but because of a cheating husband that decided he didn't want the responsibility of wife and kids (I was pregnant at the time).
It's easy to blame all the ills and woes of the world on the president or other politician, after all they do make a lot of mistakes. But you got to rise above all that and make your life the way you want it. YOU are ultimately responsible for your life and how you live it.
As for abortion. I am a woman and I DO NOT have the right to choose whether my child should live or die! Whatif that child was 6 months old or 1 year old and I decided that I didn't want to be a mother. Would I have the right to kill that child? There is no difference! What if your mother decided to have an abortion?

8:59 PM

 
Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Dear Anonymous,

You're a Bush voter, right? Don't ask me how I know, I just get a feeling. At least you can spell, a skill which separates you from your Commander in Chief.

You know, I love this "I'm no Jesus freak, but if you don't kiss His Holy Heiny you're gonna go to Heeeeeeeell." That's like saying "I'm not a racist but all niggers are crack smoking lay abouts." Honey - I have to tell you, you're just another American religious nutcase.

It comes as no surprise dear that you've eaten a lot of Spam, you seem to generate a fair bit too.

And a pro-lifer! What a shock to learn that you're a member of the Womb Boogers Are People Too! movement. I'm sure you've got a slimy, red eyed brood of lice infested, cleft-palated kiddies sleeping three to a bed in your double wide trailer in Appalachia. No doubt you've been spitting 'em out ever since you could spread your legs in the back of a truck. What's hubby's name anyway? Duke? Duane? No wait - it's Earl isn't it?

To answer your question, clearly if my mother had decided to abort me (she often regrets that she didn't) I wouldn't be here to bandy words with you dear!

Well honey, here's some news: The Pro-Life Lobby lost the fight back in the 1970's and no amount of praying, voting and fund-raising is going to change that. Women have a right to determine what happens to their bodies these days without the interference of men and neither you, Dubya, Falwell nor Oral Roberts can do anything about it.

MtD
(Who is SO grateful he is an Australian)

3:12 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tsk. Matsy -- weren't you just a tad rank with that poor woman? Good to see you're in your usual trim, all things considered.

Naivete, notwithstanding... she's right. As you, yourself, are so adept at showing others, there is more than just one side to an issue. You're a fanatic in your own right, so what's the problem? There's plenty of room for every kind of weirdo on this planet.

Bush is an asshole of the first order, but we need some kind of stick to measure ourselves against, so we can avoid (or adopt) whatever it is that drives his unique form of insanity. In short, it takes all kinds.

You're a socialist, are you? So where do you get the notion we all have rights? Bush is a socialist Grand Poohbah... his family wrote the book. You see him worrying about our rights? Not freaking likely! Take it from a ex-REAL socialist... you're an activist, period.

Abortion's a hot issue. Did you ever reach a consensus with Mom? My condolences, by the way.

You're wrong about Falwell and company -- dead wrong. Their handlers wield mucho power. Don't underestimate the Bible-thumpers, eh wot?

"Joe"
(Who is SO grateful to be Canadian!)

10:30 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Matty,are you still alive?

10:39 AM

 

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